When my oldest son graduated from high school, I gave him a book called Real Life Begins After High School. I love to read and, unfortunately, he doesn’t, so it sat unused. I decided that I would read it cover to cover, and over the course of the summer before he went off to college, I could share the nuggets with him. “Helicopter Mom,” you are thinking? Maybe, but remember, this was my first to leave the nest!
It is now 8 years later, and he survived college and has a professional job. He is maturing every day–it is a life-long process–and no real surprise that he has his head on straight and a great sense of values. But one of the things I read in that book has stuck with me because it puts words to my feelings about character.
“Character,” as defined by the authors Bickel, Jantz and Barry, is “what you do when no one is looking”. Did you ever look at someones else’s test paper for that one elusive answer? If you order a cup of coffee at Starbucks and the barrista gives you an extra dollar as change and doesn’t realize it, do you give it back? When you do your taxes, do you report cash income? If you make a promise or commitment to someone, do you keep it? Do you promise customers one thing and deliver another? This is tough stuff. We are basically all well-intentioned good-hearted people who try to do the right thing. So why, when no one is looking, might we occasionally not do the right thing?
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